POST 5: 20 WEEK ANOMALY SCAN

Catch up!

I want this blog to take a new direction, I will record what I am doing as I go along, as its extremely difficult to plan a blog which cannot be set in such a certain order. 

This post will be very condensed, as I haven't been able to update for some time but I will now dedicate myself to weekly/fortnightly updates in more detail. 

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So lets get caught up! In just 2 months I have moved into my little house, changed my midwife, got moved over to a new city and settled in with my old friends and some new. Not all of this ran smoothly along the way, I’ve messed up my benefit claims, bought dodgy white goods that flooded my house, had the neighbours from hell, dealt with swellings, stretch marks, hormones and generally stressed myself out. The dust has finally started to settle and now I’m left with just me, myself and I until the pregnancy progresses. So, to keep my CV and my brain active I've been volunteering in hospital wards; schools, charity shops or food sorting centres for the homeless once a week.  If you’re out of work, single and pregnant I think its vital to keep working even if its for free and a few days here and there, it gives me a sense of worth and improves my chances of a career when I finally get back into working life. I used this link for volunteering at Leeds hospitals www.leedsteachinghospitals.com (link) but I suggest typing into Google the environment that you want to volunteer in i.e a soup kitchen, school or hospital then the area/city you live in. Try to go with trusted logos such as NHS or Leeds.gov.uk. Volunteering also gives you the opportunity to take on courses in conjunction with the type of work you are involved in. So yes you are working for free but you get a free education and a boost for your CV. Not bad.

If you would like to know more about your entitlements when working as a single pregnant woman (or a single parent) then a really brilliant site to visit is www.gingerbread.org.uk (link)

20 Week Anomaly Scan

At the 20 week mark I was sent a letter for my Anomaly scan appointment, which was requested by my *new midwife on a previous visit. The Anomaly scan is carried out to check that the baby's organs and limbs are forming correctly but most excitingly what the sex is! The anomaly scan is optional and much more straight forward than the 12 week scan so I wasn't asked many questions or required to take so many tests, as my urine and blood pressure are checked once a month by my midwife. Please note that this would be a good time to ask your midwife about a free flu jab if you are either pregnant or a new mother in the winter months. 

By this point I have a big bump and feel my baby move, I'm wearing maternity clothing and I'm having to use stretch mark oil over my stomach and chest twice a day (I use boots expert stretch mark oil).  When it came to the 12 week scan I had no bump, no feeling of the baby moving and just no sign that my little one was healthy and well, so I felt that I really needed that scan. This time was less worried wether the baby was ok and more excited to see how it was progressing. I'm sure a lot of new mums feel that way.

I think that I’ll leave it there for today but before I sign off I’d like to introduce you to my son

Links (please click the underlined web addresses)

* For volunteering in Leeds Hospitals vist: www.leedsteachinghospitals.com

* For the Gingerbread single parents network visit: www.gingerbread.org.uk

**It was very straight forward changing midwives, I just repeated the same process as before (see post 4 for first scan and midwife procedure) in my new area and then my new midwife cancelled services with the previous team. a

POST 4: MIDWIFE & 12 WEEK ANTI NATAL APPOINTMENTS

The first Midwife appointment (8-10 weeks)

At this point I was around 9-10 weeks pregnant, still none the wiser and not feeling remotely pregnant at all. My appointment was set in a bustling child care centre where I sat down in a tiny brown furry chair watching newborns being carried in and out amongst the kiddie art plastered hallways, cries and coos pierced my ears. It was all just so daunting to me and I cant explain why, I felt like I really didn't belong there and I never wanted or thought I'd be there. I heard my name being called though the door next to me and was so glad to see the midwife sat there, it was a relief, I was like…heres someone who can tell me what the hell to do now. 

The first stage was a lot of questions asked by the midwife, this takes well over an hour and a half, as a full breakdown of my medical and family history needed to be assessed and recorded. Please note that all questions and answers are kept strictly confidential so you don't need to worry about what you say to the midwife. 

The following standard questions were asked:

• What was the date of your last period?- To work out when the baby is due and how far along you are
• Have you experienced a previous miscarriage, abortion or other births?- So the midwife can assess whether the pregnancy is high risk and refer you for further care 
• Do you or a family member suffer or have suffered from mental illness?- To refer you to a mental health specialist that can provide treatment & support during and after pregnancy
• Have you or do you suffer from any form of eating disorder?- To offer you access to a nutritionist and (or) a mental health worker who specialises in eating disorders 
• What is you family genetic history?- To offer testing during the 12 week scan for any high risk genetic abnormalities that have occurred within your family. I also requested the downs syndrome test which is called a nuchal scan for my first anti natal screening, please note this is completely optional, here is a link to what the test involves www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Downs-syndrome this link explains what down syndrome is and also fully explains the test procedure.
• Do you drink, smoke or do drugs?- To schedule appointments with a healthcare worker in order to quit
• Where do you want to give birth?- To check if all the facilities needed are in that area. I.e if you want a water birth 
• How do you intend to feed your baby?- Breast feeding is better for the baby's health and development, so this encouraged during your midwifery appointments (link to breastfeeding benefits www.nhs.uk/Planners/breastfeeding)

The second stage involved a range of tests:

• Urine tests- For STI/D screening (sexually transmitted infection/disease). The STI/D test results came through about a week after my appointment via text (all clear). It's very important to take these tests as STI/D's can seriously damage the foetal development and cause major problems for you both.
• Blood tests- To test Iron levels and check your blood group
• Blood pressure, weight and height- To test the risk of diabetes and high blood pressure

All of this information is then recorded into a pregnancy assessment record book that I have to take with me to every appointment. This ensures that who ever sees me will know everything and I will also know whats going on.

Before leaving, I made sure that the midwife signed my healthy start application form so that I can send away for my weekly milk, fruit and vegetable vouchers (information www.healthystart.nhs.uk) I was then booked for my first scan and given a pregnancy manual and a folder full of coupons, pamphlets and advice sites recommended by the NHS.

The first Anti natal screening (12 weeks)

This scan is to determine that the baby's heart is beating, it has formed normally and there are no early signs of deformity. Please note that the sex cannot be determined at this point and at 12 weeks, the baby only measures between 5cm & 6cm.  

I had to arrive at the hospital with a full bladder of water to show a clearer picture and eat something sugary to prepare for the blood tests. You can take someone in the room with you and also buy pictures at the end of the scan. All in all the procedure takes around 20 minutes. 

I asked my parents to wait outside because if anything went wrong I just wanted to deal with it alone, yet there was a part of me that wanted someone there. A cold gel was squirted onto my stomach and as the sonographer swept the scan stick across the gloop, I met my baby. This was the first time that it all became so real, I saw the little heart beating away, legs kicking up and down, mouth opening into a yawn and the baby even sucked on its thumb. I felt so amazed that this little person was alive, inside me….moving! I felt instant inexplicable love.

 After going through all of this emotional upset and upheaval in my life, it was all so worth it, just to see that tiny little heart beating.

In my next post I will be exploring education and employment opportunities during pregnancy 

Links (please click the underlined web addresses)

*For Downs Syndrome testing www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Downs-syndrome

*For healthy start vouchers www.healthystart.nhs.uk

*For breastfeeding advice www.nhs.uk/Planners/breastfeeding

POST 3: HOUSING & BENEFIT RIGHTS AT 9 WEEKS

A place to call home?

So its been a real roller coaster ride for me and the bump, just trying to get information anywhere with limited money and no help was hair pullingly stressful. Its an unnerving experience ticking the 'single' box on forms that I just didn't understand, noticing the disapproving glances from staff that have seen it all before. There is no guide on what you are supposed to do when you suddenly find you've lost your job, your man and to top it off, you're pregnant. I really hope that this helps because I literally closed my eyes and lunged into the system. This is some sense that I managed to gather from it all…. 


Please note that you are not entitled to any kind of maternity or child related benefits until you are due to give birth in 11 weeks time (so around 25 weeks pregnant) 

Weekly benefits

This first thing I needed to do (as I'm newly unemployed) was to sign on for a weekly benefit. I'm only 9 weeks pregnant so I'm not entitled to income support yet, so I had to sign on for JSA (job seekers allowance). It can be anything from approximately £50 to £70 a week, paid straight into my bank account. I competed the form online at www.direct.gov.uk an advisor guided me through the whole process once I had filled out the application. You don't have to fill it out online and can walk into any JobCentrePlus, but it is much faster this way. This means I can look into starting a course, volunteering or working as an apprentice for 16 hours a week in a new line of work, Its a chance for a fresh start. Anything over 16 hours and and I was told I would lose my allowance. I have to sign in at the office once a fortnight and prove that I am looking for work via 3 methods i.e newspaper, online and writing to companies. 
Signing for JSA also entitles you to free fruit, vegetables and vitamins when you are in the early stages of pregnancy. You apply via this link www.healthystart.nhs.uk

Council housing applications

I began looking at free housing for a female in my situation, this had to be done through my local authority, the local authority is the city council where they deal with housing claims, benefits and placements. If you type into google 'local authority for housing in **your city/town' This will bring up the address and email of where you need to go to speak to an advisor. I then filled out a form that registered me to the housing association, you can pick one up in the office or you can download it from their website. I booked in with an advisor at the local authority to ensure that I filled out the forms correctly, and also just to get some advice.  They sent me a pin number through the post a week or so later, which I can then use to start bidding on housing association, council, or state owned property that is within my specifications. 

Let me stress that if you think you are going to be put on a 'priority list' for a free house when you are single and pregnant, then you a right…BUT this means you will still be waiting at least a year and you are not priority until you are 5 months pregnant. But all the same get that form filled in and start the ball rolling because when the baby is born you may only be a few months away from getting a house sorted out. Non priority bidders are waiting over 2 years and in some cases longer. 

Immediate housing (DSS)

I wasn't sure what I was going to do next, I knew that I couldn't wait a year for a place to live so my advisor suggested that I apply for DSS (Department of Social Services).  The DSS will pay a monthly lump sum to your landlord ranging from approximately £90 to £100 a week to cover the rent on a private property, but you must have paid a deposit and a months rent before you can do this. I am fortunate in that I have the capital to pay a deposit and a months rent on a house. If not, the local authority would advise a shelter while you could work and save up the deposit and months rent, see www.england.shelter.org.uk. You could also use a shelter while you wait to be housed in a council property. 

I had to make sure that the land lord accepted DSS before I signed for the property. I haven't moved in yet but I have laid out the money so now I have to fill in a DSS application form obtained from my local authority.

When can I claim benefits and housing as a pregnant woman?


These are things that I will update on as I reach the 25 week mark. Please do look at this link www.direct.gov.uk (child benefit/maternity allowance) if you are already at this stage.  

In my next post I will be discussing my first midwife visit and 12 week anti natal procedure.


Links (please click the underlined web addresses)
**For benefit and housing advice www.direct.gov.uk
**For womens homeless shelter advice www.england.shelter.org.uk

POST 2: NUTRITION

GIVING UP…

I pushed the peddle on the bin, watched the lid flip up and the box of Marlborough Lights 
fall in. I had been a 20-30 a day smoker since the age of 15 
and never saw myself quitting, In this case I just had to. I then went all out and emptied my coffee jars, liqueur bottles and medications into the bulging bin. It was like a clear out of all the crap I knowingly put into my body. Its a daunting thing just throwing away all of these things at once and I really wasn't prepared for the cravings, crippling headaches, insomnia and mood swings that I went through in the following weeks. It's shocking to think that these things played such an important part in how I functioned, yet I knew they were really bad for me and I knew before reading anything or seeing any doctors that they would harm my unborn baby.


By this point I have been to my local GP and registered as pregnant. The doctor didn't give me a pregnancy test or any information regarding nutrition. I was given a number scribbled on a piece of paper to book the midwife, a box of folic acid and then went on dumbfounded from there. My appointment with the midwife isn't for another week or 2, so in the meantime I'm researching a bit about nutrition in the first trimester on my own.


The Supplement 
Firstly I knew that I had to invest in some decent supplements ASAP, as I knew that I had a poor diet. I searched on amazon, google and Yahoo for product reviews and also spoke to a few pharmacists in several different chemists. The product that came up trumps, with the most stars was Pregnacare plus (Product Info) Most importantly it contains the 400 Micrograms of Folic Acid that the baby needs to avoid developing Spina Bifida (Spina-bifida information). I've found that my skin is a lot clearer, my eyes are brighter,  my hair is softer, nails harder and I generally feel so much better after taking these for just 4 weeks.

 Taken From http://www.vitabiotics.com/pregnacare (click image to enlarge)

I also made sure that I swapped medications for alternative remedies, for example I went to a herbalist for tailored heat packs for my back also headache gels and bags of hops to replace codeine. No medications should be taken in the first trimester (unless the doctor says its ok), as this is when the baby develops its spinal cord and brain. 

Myths explained

The next step was to figure out what I can and cannot eat. I was being told all different types of horror stories about foods deforming the baby and causing miscarriages so I decided to check everything out with the NHS and stop scaring myself. The best website I found for this information was the NHS choices, heres the link NHS Choices. The worst thing to do is look on any old website that comes up on a google search, they are full of rubbish and scary statements that aren't at all justified.

I make sure that I follow the NHS eating guide as closely as I can and if I'm not in the mood for my 5 a day due to fatigue and morning sickness, I put it all in a blender and swallow the lot in a pint glass. I also made changes to my liquids such as drinking 8 glasses of water a day, switching my coffee and tea to decaf and I have 1 large glass of red wine or guinness every 3 to 6 days. 

I also figured out that the 'eating for two' theory is a myth, the last thing I want is a weight problem and then to palm that bad habit off on the child. This is why I haven't given up exercise, I still get on my bike for 45 minutes daily, or go for a long walk with my dog to keep my fitness and most importantly my endorphin levels up to prevent depression during this transition. I'm going to look into pregnancy classes in yoga and aqua aerobics when I develop past 16 weeks (first Trimester), as at this point I should be taking it very easy.

This is all a massive learning process for me, in a way I'm re-educating myself with all of this information. 

In my next post I will be talking about how I researched my benefit, financial aid and tenancy rights in the North of England. 

Links (please click the underlined web addresses)

**For Vitabiotics website www.vitabiotics.com

**For NHS nutritional advice www.nhs.uk

**For exercise guidelines www.babycentre.co.uk

**For help quitting smoking during pregnancy www.smokefree.nhs.uk

POST 1: INTRODUCTION

Theres a bump in the road...

(7 weeks & 2 days)

I'm hoping that this blog can be of some help and guidance to at least one other woman in my situation, or at the very least, myself.


Let me explain….


I am 27 years and 3 months old 
I am 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant,
my date of conception was approximately any day between Saturday the 16th and Saturday the 30th of July 2011, 
I have around 33 weeks remaining until I give birth on the 21st of April 2012.


My contraceptive injection Depo-Provera (one of the most potent and trusted contraceptives) failed, I felt angry and duped, but no contraception available is 100%. It can happen to 1 in 100 women, so do the math on how many women there are in the U.K alone.
I've always stated that I did NOT want children and I've always supported pro choice for these types of circumstances (www.prochoicemajority.org.uk). In this case I shocked myself when I made the choice not to go through with a termination (abortion), yet my choice in the eyes of the father was the wrong one. I think that a majority of the time, the other party does not see that it is the woman's body and therefore the woman's choice to make. A termination is an extremely difficult experience both mentally and physically and should not be decided by anyone but the person going though with it.


Once I had decided what I was going to do I knew I had to  inform the father. At the time I had very recently ended the relationship and the conversations that we had did not go well. All contact was cut after an email from him that ended 'This is your decision not mine, I do not want to be involved' even though at this point my rational mind was telling me to get on with this alone, like any woman, I have to admit I did feel heartbroken and let down. It still hurts very much and I don't think that will ever fully go away. When you lose the support of the father I think that's when you need all the help you can get.


After I hung up the phone and deleted the email I had to start thinking realistically. I had to leave the country I was working in (Ireland), decline lucrative job offers in Spain and London then move back to the countryside in the U.K with my family. This would buy me time until I figured out how to get sorted, as I couldn't possibly work abroad whilst pregnant. The father is out of the picture and lives in Ireland so any minute chance of financial or emotional support is out of the question, I have just under £2000 in savings and no job, what now?


So here I am, cooped up in the countryside with an ever expanding bump wondering how many women are in this situation…..where are they? wheres all the advice?


In the coming weeks I will be posting links and useful information on what processes I went through within the first trimester of pregnancy (4-12 weeks) after finding myself single and out of work in this alien situation.


In my next post I will be discussing nutrition during my first few weeks of pregnancy


Links (please click the underlined web addresses)
**For NHS abortion advice www.bpas.org Please also consult your GP
**For information regarding Pro Choice www.prochoicemajority.org.uk
**For NHS contraception advice www.nhs.uk Speak to your nearest sexual health clinic
**For Depo-Provera contraceptive injection  www.depoprovera.com 
**For conception calculator www.baby2see.com (all dates are approximate and you must know the first day of your last period)